A Glimpse of Him (What happened to Never)
This is out from what I’m posting in here. I just need to vent out. I need to get this all out from me or I will end up depressed talking to a shrink or worst.
After a long long time, I trusted someone again. He came into my life just like that. Unexepected. Never in my wildest dream thought that this guy will earn my trust in a matter of days. You know, we just “clicked”. We both have trust issues and have been fucked up by people we care about in several different ways. We’ve talked almost everyday for 6-7hrs. We didn’t care about the time difference. We made it happen. We made it possible. It was okay. We were okay. No. It was perfect. Eventhough we’re both messed up and all. We trusted each other. Told each other our bitter pasts and talked about anything without the fear of judgement. We had it. We let each other in, into each others lives. Which is not normal to both of us. Coz we both don’t let people in. Especially not in an instant. He said he wasn’t scared of trusting me and letting me in. He’s not holding back anything. He told me he’ll take care of me. He’ll fix me. I told him that one day, he will realize that I’m not the good person that he thinks I am. I told him that one day, he’ll get bored with me. One day, I’ll lose him too. And he always said “NEVER”. I was a fool to believe that. Coz now he’s gone. Without saying anything. Without saying goodbye. Without any reason. He always says he’s not good enough for me. That he’s a posion. But I didn’t see that. What I saw in him, was a boy who was bullied most of his life. A broken boy who can not see his importance in this world. A boy who needed someone when he was beaten by his own brother while his parents do nothing about it. And because of all of these shitty things that happened to him, he closed himself to the world. I thought at least he held the door open for me. At least I thought somehow I was already in. But I thought wrong. He didn’t let me in. He just gave me a glimpse of him.